A letter to my son on his first birthday

newborn photoJust like that you are one years old. One whole year of you in my life. One year of holding you, kissing you, cuddling you, feeding you, rocking you to sleep, changing your diaper, watching you grow. I vividly remember how this day one year ago went. Waking up to my water breaking, frantically waking the girls to get ready the best they could at 4 in the morning, panic setting in hoping we making it to the hospital, working down my mental phone call list, remembering to breath. I previously wrote about Finnegan’s birth story which you can read here.

As we worked our way to the hospital all I thought about was you. I was going to meet my son. My first and only son. I have to admit up to that point I was a bit terrified to have a boy. Being a girl mom for six years I was not quite sure if I was ready or prepared to raise a son. But it was a little late to worry about that now.

You came in a hurry. You seemed to be eager to meet your mom and dad. The moment had arrived. The moment where we met. I am not sure if you felt it but I did. The love between us was strong. We in that moment had a conversation requiring no words. You in that moment saying “I’m safe mommy” and me in that moment saying “you will always be safe”. It was everything that I dreamed it would be. You, my son, forever and always will be.

newborn photo

newborn photo

You have been smothered with so much love. I hate to admit it but you have three mothers. Your sisters only look for what is in your best interest. They would do anything for you. They would move mountains for you. Annaliese can quickly make you laugh or calm you down. Madelyn really takes on the role as mother. Making sure your diaper is clean, making sure you are happy and holding you when you are not. I cannot imagine this past year without my tiny helpers.

I have watched you learn to hold your head up, roll over, crawl, and walk along the couch. You have a temper which is wonderfully displayed when you get frustrated with your toys.You love your food. We are slowly beginning to give you table food and of course you couldn’t be happier. You have a special place in your heart for both mommy and daddy. Lately you have been really clinging to your dad which makes your daddy smile the biggest smile. I cannot wait to see that relationship flourish as you grow. You (thank the Lord) still love to snuggle. When you need mommy you show it. Those are the moments I cling to the most. Those moments will soon fade but I will always have the memories to treasure.

first birthday

So Finnegan I say this to you on your first birthday. You continue to bless us with your laughter, your inquisitiveness, your joy, your attitude, and your love. You are the final piece to this family puzzle. So thank you for the wonderful memories of this past year and I cannot wait to see what this year brings.