I am a person that absolutely dislikes change. Actually I would more accurately use the words despise, hate, abhor. This does not just go for negative change but even positive change. I do not like my world picked at, reexamined, shattered. No matter good or bad I begin to feel the anxiety rise, my heart beat faster, my eyes fill with tears.
These past six months my family has experienced a number of negative changes. One by one these changes seem to catapult into my life without much notice. In order to deal with change I believe there are certain tools that can be used in order to work through it successfully. I found some ways that have given me a better opportunity to deal with my change and move through the process in order to feel as though I am leading up to accepting change.
Here are five ways that could help you when dealing with change.
- Recognizing your feelings. For a person that does not handle change well, it is important to acknowledge the feelings and emotions that the change has brought forth. Personally I often times neglect my own feelings. I would rather bury them deep no matter what the consequence may be later. However with the changes I have been experiencing in my life recently, I have found myself really acknowledging the emotions and listening to what I am feeling. This I believe helps me in working through the changes. Also I have a better time accepting the change that has happened when I process my feelings one by one.
- Writing in a journal. One thing I have always been consistent at is keeping a journal. I do not write everyday but I write on the days when I feel myself bottling up the emotions again. This I believe is a great therapeutic way to cope and begin the process of moving forward. I find it easier to process my emotions if I lay them all down on paper. This is something that I remember my mom telling me when I was a teenager. Back then I was not good at expressing what I was feeling verbally. However when I wrote, it felt as though my emotions were releasing themselves causing for an easier time to adjust with certain changes.
- Talk to others that have gone through similar experiences. Sometimes when I am dealing with a change I feel hesitant to talk to other people. This I believe has hindered me in the past from dealing with change successfully. Now, I almost find it like a breath of fresh air when I talk to someone that has experienced the same situation. It is comforting. It is insightful. It gives me the ability to recognize that I am not alone and that the feelings I have, others have had also. It can be a struggle to talk about your change but it truly is something that helps you move forward in the right direction. Never hold in your emotions. Never hold in the words that explain the feelings you are experiencing.
- Choose what thoughts you will have about the change. I have noticed a big difference in my ability to accept change by the thoughts I choose to have about the change. I have always been a “glass half empty” kinda gal. Anyone can give me a situation or an idea and I can create a negative thought about it. I am not proud of it. I work hard to be a more positive person. When change happens, negative thoughts begin to flood my brain. I sometimes feel as though I am drowning in my own thoughts. It is difficult to not see the negative side of certain changes. But there are positives. Whether it be memories or the potential of the future, there are ways to have positive thoughts about the changes.
- There is no time limit when adjusting to change. No matter what the change, big or small, good or bad, you should never feel pressured to adjust at a quick pace. I have been dealing with my father’s death for six months. I have been open with my feelings and know that my adjustment period is still ongoing. Certain changes take more time than others. Taking the necessary steps to work through the change will help move the process along but no one should ever feel as though they need to move on quickly from a certain change. In some situations it may be difficult to move past a certain emotion.But the important factor to remember is to never stop. Never stop working through the process. Never give up on yourself and the emotions you are feeling.
These five ways have helped me in working towards acceptance. I hope that as you move through a change that some of these ways will be helpful for you!